Sister Cynthia
Ever since I was a young girl, I had struggled with self- image issues, wanting to appear as someone I was not. I had attended different churches even a catholic church but I had just gone for the sake of going since everyone in the family was going to church, I never opened the Bible to just read because I saw it as something that was read on a Sunday. I also never called Jesus Christ God since I had never received that understanding. My relationship with God was like a game to me, because I would only worship Him when I needed something, then slip back into my old ways (ways of death). Following the fashion industry was my way of life, I used to advise others who struggled with their looks, who did not know what to buy in order to look good in the world. Due to my selfishness and wickedness, I would spend all the money I earnt, to make myself look more appealing in the eyes of men.
At the age of 19 I got a boyfriend whom women would call "picture perfect" and I did everything I could so that I would appear beautiful to him. Once he told me he liked nose piercings, so I went ahead and pierced my nose. I gave myself fully to him, at least that was my understanding of what love was, to the point of indulging in sexual immorality, fearing he would leave me. On 23rd of April 2017 I went to a party and he was there, to cut the long story short, things went sideways, and he got shot in front of me. He did not die at that moment, but he was admitted to hospital for about a year and a few months, then he died. It was a real struggle upon my life, with all the pressures and stress I was going through at the time, I called my mother not only physically but also spiritually (Sister Diana) and I remember telling her that a friend of mine had just died, though I didn't go into detail of what had happened, she asked me if I was crying because he is dead or because I didn’t know where he was heading and that question just touched me. I had decided to give my life to Christ, out of fear of going to hell, not because I wanted to worship Him truthfully.
The first book sister Diana gave me was Ephesians which I read, but I didn't have much understanding but she helped me through it, when it came to changing my dressing I could not do it, because people's opinion became an idol in my life and I slipped back to my ways because I desired to worship Christ how I wanted, not how He wanted me to worship Him, which is in truth and in spirit. I thank God this year (2020), I have seen the hand of Jesus Christ upon my life for I am a new creation:
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (II Corinthians 5:17 NKJV)
I praise Him because He lives and sets us free!
“All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.” (John 6:37 NKJV)
The emptiness and loneliness I felt, Jesus filled. I am happy to say that I have been made whole. He gave me strength to throw away the things of darkness since He formed a connection with me and separated me from the world, I will forever say He lives. I needed to be sure that all this was done by Him and that I have been set free by Him and this is what the Lord said to me:
“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, that you should not be their slaves; I have broken the bands of your yoke and made you walk upright.” (Leviticus 25:13 NKJV)
He also, confirmed it through my fleshly brother with His words:
“For now I will break off his yoke from you, And burst your bonds apart.”” (Nahum 1:13 NKJV)
Every single day is a day to glorify God even though our minds cannot grasp the fullness of His nature and glory! Amen!
