Sister Georgiana

I was born in an Orthodox family. When I was little, I practiced the normal rituals and I frequently attended the Orthodox Church with my middle sister, but after secondary school, I stopped. I remember when I was 27/28 years old the manager of the company where I worked asked me if I believed in God and I told him: “No, but I think there is something, otherwise how can we explain love?” I could identify the effects of love but the provenance and formula of love, I did not know.
After a relationship of 11 years without ending in a marriage, a successful career, I continued to look forward for the ideal scenario which all friends dreamed of: a stable job, family unit of a husband and kids. But still, I felt that this is not life’s “great goal” and so, felt guilty. I couldn’t express myself to those around me, how could I tell them, that I considered this to be a boring life, and that it would not fulfill me. 
I was the submissive individual in the relationship, I liked to give the ownership of the relationship to my boyfriend, but because neither of us have Jesus, the standards by which our relationship was guided were pointing us directly to Hell: sexual immorality, soul emptiness, lack of authenticity.
The Lord has been talking to me since before I was a Christian, I just could not understand that He was speaking to me. I saw Him in many wonderful creations, in nature, in any flower, green vegetation, I admired His creations, but I was yet to meet Him. He helped me come to some conclusions in life. After my ex-boyfriend’s mum had died of cancer, my ex-boyfriend bought me a book about how to eat healthy. After reading the book, I realized that 80% of the food on shelves is not to feed us, it’s just man- made, full of chemicals. Only lately, I begin to understand that it is the same with God, I could not see him because of the world. 
I desired my boyfriend whom was similar to me, in this way, maybe we would have a more successful relationship, as we would understand each other better. And that which I desire, I received a few months later, however it was not exactly what I expected, I saw whom I was in him, I did not know that I was like this (God has been showing me this lately): I was a liar, a fake person, one who puts first people’s opinions, proud, insecure of herself, obsessed by appearance and obsessed with shopping.  
I will not forget the moment when my ex proposed to me. We were in Rome, where I could enjoy the new city I was in, but in that morning I woke up with a deep feeling of sadness, I felt as if I was in mourning, my soul was so heavy and my whole chest was grinding within me. I few hours later I accepted the proposal.  Later, when I was born again, I understood that I should endure all suffering that everything happens according to His way. Although my fiancé fulfilled all the worldly demands, he was good looking, has his own company (financially stable), wanted kids and people around me advise me that anytime I can divorce, my soul was full of worries, suffering and confusion.  
I met Jesus in my fiancé’s flat, Jesus found me a few months after my proposal, in a period of time when I didn’t have job and I understood later that He just gave me time in order to meet Him. A friend of mine who called me a maximum of three times per year, called me and talked to me about how Jesus changed her. On that day I accepted Jesus in my heart, I felt a huge joy and I was so happy just because I was living, which was very unusual for me till then. I prayed to my Lord to give me love for my fiancé and not to marry me in a lie, but I didn’t know His will for me. He gave me love for my fiancé, but love of a brother. 
Meanwhile I prayed to my Lord to change my fiancé heart and to clarify if it’s ok to get married or not, and Jesus spoke to me through my friend: “Georgi, it’s not about your fiancé or your marriage, now you are fighting for your soul. A marriage doesn’t bring you the blessings of God, unless your lives are handed over to Jesus”. From that moment I stopped treating Jesus as a dead God, but as someone who is alive, from whom I have received answers and direction. I understood that Jesus is so practical, He would not have allowed a covenant of marriage that is opposed to His will, so it was important for me to accept Jesus’ will and to stop the engagement.
I broke up with my fiancé, I gave up more activities and music which had no purpose for me at that moment; Latino dance courses, make-up, my vulgar clothes, my jewelry and my perfumes, but I understood later that God planned it this way, in order not to be a stumbling block for anyone and try to be like Him. I also went and bought a Bible . I understood that to His standard, I should be submissive, not to worldly standards, because He doesn’t change according to political or fashion trends, He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews, 13:8).
Glory to Jesus because He makes me free, “But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty” (2 Corinthians, 3: 16-17).  
God bless you!